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APRIL 26, 2020 PRINT EDITION
Opinions

Partly Facetious : Shahzad Akbar's girth is expanding!

"The Khan needs to issue an urgent directive..."

May 19, 2020

"The Khan needs to issue an urgent directive..."
"Hey back off! How many times have I told you The Khan ain't gonna issue any directive on your say so; he dances to the tune of a different drummer..."
"Hey where I am sitting I see the drummers are the same, and no I didn't make a mistake, I meant drummers as in plural not singular."
"Care to explain."
"Well, the flour mill owners have threatened strike action, the transporters have threatened strike action, a sugar mill owner has reportedly sent a message to The Khan that in the event that his name is maligned any further a lot more than sugar will disappear..."
"You made a grammatical error, sugar mill owners as in plural..."
"Nah, there I reckon it's in singular, only those who are being paid by the taxpayers are following directives of the PM..."
"And some of those too have a more personal agenda..."
"Yeah, yeah, but speaking of those paid from the taxpayers money Shahzad Akbar Special Assistant to the Prime Minister on Accountability who, I reckon, the Prime Minister must issue a directive to..."
"Hey he is doing a good job - he attacks the Sharifs periodically and the attacks pick up pace when the Sharifs open back door channels..."
"Backdoor channels with whom?"
"I believe that is in plural. Anyway Shahzad Akbar's girth is expanding and for his personal health and for political reasons and by that I mean before the public starts thinking that he is accumulating weight on the tax payers money The Khan must issue the directive that he bikes to office everyday and to hold press conferences..."
"Don't be facetious, besides he could easily cheat - I mean take out the bike where he is seen and then get his car to pick him up and..."
"I would suggest that as no foreign dignitary is expected to visit Pakistan given the pandemic and we know The Khan likes to drive I would suggest that The Khan flags Shahzad Akbar on his trips by bicycle to the PID and back just to make sure he doesn't cheat."
"Ha, ha, and then he should give the directive to Container Shah to make Akbar's trips to PID even more of a challenge and place containers..."
"Please no more containers - if there were no containers my travel time to work every day would be halved."
"You shouldn't whine when national interest is at stake."
"It's in the national interest to have a slim Akbar!" "The definition of national interest varies from individual to individual."

Copyright Business Recorder, 2020